I have often wondered at the anatomy of a vampire but I have more questions when it comes to Stephenie Meyer's version of vampires.  I have been even more curious since reading fanfic and all the lemons that sometimes come along with them.  I love Twilight but the physiology of the sparkling vampire just doesn't make sense to me. 

For example: If there is no blood circulating through their system, how do they get erections?  Would it be venom rushing to the member?  I'm thinking purely scientific here.  I have to know how things work.

If I wanted to write a story about vampires, I think I would study the physiology of leeches, ticks and mosquitos. Here nature has provided us with a model of organisms who feed off blood.  (*Please note: In nature leeches feed primarily on small invertebrates and eat them whole.)  Leeches have closed circulatory vessels and when they feed they secrete not only an anesthetic so the host does not feel them feeding from them but also an anti-clotting enzyme.

Okay - putting aside all that leech/scientific talk, I just want to know this: How do they get a boner if their bodies aren't circulating blood?

So we've had a show yourself post, now show us your pets.

So I have a pet snake. I won't show a pic because I know some people have snake phobias, but he really is beautiful. His name is Monty :) I would LOVE a pet turtle aswell. And a pet rabbit, but they're illegal in Queensland, Australia :(

ETA: Let me know if you're all good with me posting a pic of Monty?

Ranger Edit: We welcome ALL animals here in the forest. There is a cute picture of Monty posted in the thread. If this bothers you-don't click on the comments.

EDIT: I forgot to include that this post was approved by She-Who-Wields-The-Mighty-Purple-Font

Today is 420, one of the most important and greatest holidays of the fracken year. Why there hasn't been a post for this yet, I don't know but here it is. 

Me and the BF celebrate every year by going up to  Mt.Baldy and doing this

then this

while we listen to this

The first time I smoked was when I was 13 and bored. I didn't like it and didnt smoke for another 2 years. Then  I got into the rave scene, and learned there was such thing as a good bag.

So campers, what do you do to celebrate? Do you smoke or bake your stuff? IS there music you listen to? What do you like to munch on afterwards?

Also, share your "popping the herb" stories, idgaf. I'm blase right now eating my cotton candy.

this was approved by @DifferentForest. I have the tweet to prove it

this is still dedicated to tkmoon, who im thinking of calling in a bit to harass.

also this was not supposed to be offensive, sorry if it offended people. im gonna get off now and write. 

RANGER EDIT: We encourage ALL conversations here in the forest-no matter what the topic. People can disagree respectfully but please do not shy away from making posts about controversial topics. Thank you.

If these kinds of posts aren't allowed, I apologize, but this fic(link) is a word for word, save for name changes, copy of Beth Fantaskey's novel Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side. I just feel like it should be removed.

Show in pictures 3 things that you really dislike. Here are mine:

I dislike this boy's music and am tired of hearing about him

I dislike it when you kill this boy in fanfiction

I dislike the sound of nails on a chalkboard

Wolvesnvamps approved this campfire and I think I know why!

I saw this floating around twitter and thought it was interesting.

"Supposedly" Kristen has met up at Coachella with her ex, Michael "MrSpices" Oregano. There isn't a shot of their faces but it looks exactly like her (and him).

Is there a double standard with these shots? Are people more likely to deny them because it's not R/K?

You be the judge.

 Or, you know, spam this with pics of me Isla Fisher and make me happy

I have a secret guilty pleasure.  I love bad manips.  Let me start off by saying that the people who make these things are far more talented than I am.  I can't even manage to make a banner for myself.  But some of these pictures, man, have me shaking my head.  So gimmie them!

The Good

The Bad (and kinda naughty)

The Ugly

And then things like this...

Manips are awesome.

So, We Can All Agree (Unless You're In Denial)
That Edward Cullen Is A Very Big Stalker.
James & Victoria Too.

Which Got Me Thinking.....
What Stalker Songs Do You Know?
What Is The Best One You've Heard?
Do You Have Any Favourites?

Mine Is Easily;

(Ranger Approved)

Okay, so i'm a little slow when it comes to internet slang. But now there's all these FF terms also?!

So. Help me.

IMO = ?

HEA = ?

WIP = ?

And any others would be helpful too.

Oh, and btw, my s/n comes from this video:

I'm going to see 100 Monkeys at the Hi Tone in Memphis on Wednesday.

Anyone else in the area?  $12! 

Breaking News has updated!

git thee to reading it NOW.

then leave love for writeontime123 in her cabin.

then come back here and discuss the fabulosity of this story with me.

After three days I finally finished "The Workshop: a Tale of Edible Delights" and I was blown away. It's hilarious, has a strong Bella and the ultimate sexy DILFward. The story also has major heart fail that comes out of now where...just like it would in real life. Anyway, I was devastated and completely blind sided. My question is, what other fan fics have had this effect on you? Something so crazy or heart breaking that just came out of no where and ripped your heart out.

http://forum.fanfiction.net/topic/61196/16967487/1/#25221298

QUICKQUICK, before they delete it. scroll down.

Hi there,

I've had my second ever bad review today.  I don't feel hugely upset by it; it wasn't the most constructive of comments but I guess I am a little bemused at what I did so wrong in this person's eyes that I deserve such a raking over the coals.  Both of my bad reviews haven't had anything in way of explanation; I'll not say what the second one said but the first one was "Well thats f*cked".

If I read something and I really wasn't impressed I would just think "well that was poor" and move on, I wouldn't leave a review.  If I read something, thought one or two points let it down and passing this information on might be good feedback for the author, I would try and find a nice way to say this in a review (positive-negative-positive sandwich probably).  But I don't really get the motivation behind such a blunt, unexplained comment.  The only explanation I can think of is that person detested it so much and felt so passionately that they were unable to let it go.  But then I think surely my writing isn't that bad, or am I just blind to the fact and my writing IS that bad?

Or do some people just get off on being drama queens?  :D  And feel the need to tell something they're producing the most awful fiction in the world when really, ok the story isn't quite their cup of tea and the writing isn't the smoothest ever but on the whole its reasonable?

 So many fics are starting to blur together for me and I'm having a hard time remembering what happens in which story.  Rec me some unique fic, please?  It can be any genre, pairing.  

I've also been looking for some blue collar (even poor) lead male character stories and military stories where the male lead returns wounded and recovers.  I've been enjoying stories with more realistic characters in them. Any recs?  Thank you much!

Hi everyone!

Many of you may not remember but today marks to anniversary of the shooting at Columbine Highschool - 11 years ago.

An incredibly devastating tragedy in American history.

I have been feeling extremely sad and am hoping you guys can offer comfort in the form of fic reqs [or any kind words].

This may sound so juvenille, but sometimes I wish Edward and the Cullens were real and could help people - like, really help people in need...maybe I am treading down this depressing train of thought simply because of how sad I am - but, would the Cullens have helped people who needed saving or did Edward's "heroism" end with Bella?

If it was Jessica being attacked by those guys in Port Angeles - would he have intervened? I know Midnight Sun explains that he would but it seemed like an afterthought on Meyer's part to me.

***** I hope this is not against the ADF rules and am deeply sorry if I have inadvertantly [and unintentionally] broken any [rules]. Please delete this topic if it is inappropriate. ******

I am in the mood for a good fic where edward is a pofessional athelete.  He can play any sport really. Prefer one that is complete and E/B please.  Good lemmons and hot bods!!!! Oh please give me something to make the time pass.....Ill be waiting!!

Thank You!

write a letter to someone

a ranger, another camper, rob, the smeyer or other fanfiction writers, etc

dear lillybellis-

have you stumbled into a sugar-induced coma due to all the pocky i sent you?

i miss you- wtdboc

dear cathmarchr-

i am very excited about our bonesfic collab.  please to be finishing your current project so i can write sexy things.

invadingly, wtdboc

dear rob-

while on the surface i appear to be nothing but boreanaz-driven, i do still have love for you.  never forget that.  ours was a short but intense fling, and i'll always have a worrisome collection of your pictures on my hard drive remember with fond times what fun we had.

regards, wtdboc

dear hart hanson-

if booth and brennan do something to eff up my hopes and dreams for them in the season finale, i will be storming the fox lot and shaking an angry fist in your general direction.

with hope and patience, wtdboc

your turn, campers. 

Hola Campers!!

It's almost noon here and things are kinda quiet. 

I work from home, and throughout the day I am on my computer off and on pretty much all day.  And I usually STAY signed in on Twitter (unless I'm trying to write and I shut off all distractions).  What I've noticed are the patterns of when certain people are online.  Like, when I'm getting ready for bed, DameNellie and Jennday are usually complaining about work.  Or Stalle is usually starting her work day just when I'm getting my first cup of coffee. I don't think Tkmoon or Erica_lopeezy ever sleep.

(i'm a photographer and a writer--and i'm nosey...i can't help but be super observant)

So my question is this:

WHAT DO YOU DO ALL DAY?

do you work from home?

do you work at all?

do you get online when you can between classes or tweet from yer phone?

do you come play in the Forest or read FF when yer supposed be hard at work?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW?

inquiring minds wanna know

and because I'm partial to his face...